Sunday, October 18, 2009

White Room



I was saved in 1978, my husband was not. With salvation came a knowledge of my sins and I could see the damage I had done to my marriage. I set about being the best wife I could. Two years later my husband told me he didn’t know if he still wanted to be married to me. He said that I would always want him to become a Christian and he did not want God to control his life. He said he had one life and he wanted to be in charge of it himself. He felt I would always want him to change. Two years after that (four years after I was saved) he divorced me.

The first few years after my divorce were difficult. That is when I discovered what I call “the White Room.” When I felt really down I pictured myself curled up in a small white room. A strange thing happened in that place. As I sat still and waited, God spoke to my heart. At first it was just in words, but then He began to write on the walls – in color. Then the walls became more and more vibrant. Eventually I realized that the inside of this room was bigger than the world outside. So whenever I felt down, I knew where I could go. I could count on God to meet me in the White Room.

… we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us. -Rom 5: 3-5

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Fellowship



Finding a church was difficult. I visited several in the two years after the Lord saved me. One I had dismissed early, but later returned to. The church met after the manner that I was looking for. It had an open worship meeting where the men were invited to share and everyone could suggest hymns. The church had elders and deacons, but no one designated as pastor. (The problem with the first meeting was that I heard women gossiping and figured I wouldn't fit in. After visiting several other churches, I realized that this was still the best church for me and I could avoid the gossips.)

I was reminded of the old saying. It would not be possible to find the perfect church if it had me in it. In the end, I wanted a place where I could minister to the saints in my own way. This Bible Chapel was the one.

Having been newly divorced I was feeling lonely. I prayed to find friends and the next time I went to church I overheard some women talking about needing a place for a Bible study. I had a house with a big living room, so I offered it. This answer to prayer was the beginning of a fellowship of single women that has continued for over 25 years. I think of this as my ‘air and water’ group. They are all very precious to me and I wish I could spend more time with them.

And this is his commandment, That we should believe on the name of his Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, as he gave us commandment. – 1 Jo 3:23


Sunday, April 12, 2009

Giving up smoking


I needed to quit smoking. I had tried a few times, without success. This time I had a new baby and she coughed at my smoke. I asked God to help me. Within a week I had a cough that was so bad I couldn’t walk up a flight of stairs. I couldn’t smoke even if I wanted to. After a week of going without a cigarette, I realized I could go another week. I never smoked cigarettes again. The Lord delivered me from an expensive, unhealthy, smelly habit.

Being an old hippy, I had been smoking marijuana for over ten years. I couldn’t imagine ever giving that up. But, after becoming a Christian, getting ‘high’ became a different experience too. I was not going to give it up just because I was a Christian. That seemed a bit legalistic – to give it up in my own strength. I prayed and the Lord changed me from the heart. Instead of enjoying it, I felt like it got in my way. I wanted to think clearly. It felt like being mentally impaired. Being ‘high’ was actually a lower state of mind once I became a new creation in Christ. I didn’t have to give up smoking pot. I just didn’t have a desire to do that anymore.

… put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts and be renewed in the spirit of your mind; and that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness. Eph 4:21-24

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Truth from the Prophet Haggai



As a new Christian I wanted to meet with other Christians, so I joined Women's Bible Study Fellowship for a study on the minor prophets of the Old Testament.

The format of the meeting was to have a speaker first, then to meet as a group to answer questions based on Bible readings. During one of the meetings, the speaker said that all Christians should question whether they are really saved or not. I pondered over that and then prayed about it. I didn’t think about it again, but that night when I was doing the Bible study it came back to me. We were studying Habakkuk and I was having a problem.

I was working on the Bible study question about a verse in Habakkuk. I looked at the verse, but the question didn’t make sense. It didn’t seem to fit the verse. I looked up to see that I was reading the book of Haggai, not Habakkuk. They are close to each other in that section of the Old Testament. No wonder the question made no sense. So I turned to the book of Habakkuk and tried again. Still the verse and the question did not match. Then I realized I was reading Haggai again. A third time I turned to Habakkuk. It happened again. I thought this was strange and that perhaps the Lord had something to tell me in Haggai.

I looked down and read the verse below. It was the answer to my prayer:

I will make you like my signet ring, for I have chosen you, declares the Lord Almighty. - Haggai 2:23,

Sunday, February 8, 2009

New Life


So much changed in the first few months after my salvation. I felt like the world had changed, but I knew it was me. I realized I was a sojourner on Earth and that it wasn’t my home. My politics changed. I was a registered democrat, but I realized that the government was not likely to solve the world’s problems. No – I didn’t go so far as to register Republican, but man’s idealism wasn’t going to be translated into reality. That’s probably a good thing to remember in these hard economic times.

I forgave my father. The funny thing was that I didn’t know I held anything against him. But I thought about his life and realized how life had shaped his personality, including how he behaved toward his family. I cried for him and loved him deeply from that day on. He was saved on his deathbed, but I will get to that story later.

I saw my new body in a vision. It was great – a dancing fountain of light ranging from silver to dark blue. This might not be true – I am not sure where my visions came from back then, but it appeals to me. The occasional visions I had became a source of concern to me though. How did I know where they were coming from? The solution was simple. I prayed that the Lord would filter them so that only visions from Him would come through. This worked. From that point on the only vision I had, with few exceptions, were of crosses. I’ve seen hundreds of them over the years, but I’ve never seen the same one twice.

I drove past a bulletin board that proclaimed “I found it!” I knew there were others experiencing the same thing as me. I didn’t find a church though. I tried a few, but their teaching didn’t line up with what I was reading in the scriptures. I guess I was born-again contentious. I did find Women’s Bible Study Fellowship and learned more about the scriptures. It was nice to have women to study with. More on that next week.

Behold, all things become new – 2 Cr. 5:17

Sunday, February 1, 2009

The First Ten Days



The ten days after I was born again were amazing. I think of them like my honeymoon. I walked, lived, and breathed in alignment with God. It seemed I only had to think a thing and it was so. If I read a passage in the Bible that I did not understand, I would only have to turn on the radio to hear the answer. One time I prayed over a verse and the phone rang. It was Olive. She did not even say “hello.” She just explained the verse to me.

My niece came over for dinner and I shared my story with her. As I was preparing dinner I decided to serve some canned peas. I searched for a can and, remember how the Lord and I had been working together, jokingly I told my niece that I would pray that I could find the peas. There was not a can of peas in my pantry. Deflated I took a can of green beans and opened it. There were peas in the green bean can.
By the next day I was getting cocky. I prayed that if I was aligned with the will of God, I could use $100. When I went out to my mailbox, guess what was in there? Apparently I had overpaid the escrow on my house that year.

I saw my demon leave. I didn’t realize that I had one, but when I saw the demon’s face I knew it was mine. I would not be honest if I didn’t confess that we had a lot of fun together, but where I now live, my demon could not come. I haven’t missed it, praise the Lord.

By the tenth day I was beginning to realize that I might have trouble fitting in with everyone else on the planet if this kept up. The Lord stepped in – I popped a contact lens. By the time I found it I was back on Earth. But I was changed. I became a sojourner here.

The Lord still whispered in my ear that He loved me. I was safe.

Who is this that cometh up from the wilderness, leaning upon her beloved? – SgS 8:5


Sunday, January 18, 2009

The Spirit Testifies


I wish I remembered more about the year that passed from the time I prayed with Olive and asked God to show me if the Bible is true or not. I know it was an amazing year.

I started by making a pact with myself that I would verify everything I learned. By this I mean that I wanted to be sure I wasn’t talking myself into believing the Bible. I wanted evidence to substantiate what was happening in my life. I wish I could describe all of the events that occurred that year better, but this it the best I can do:

There are four witnesses that provided evidence for me. One was the way world lined up with my thoughts as the Spirit of God testified to my Spirit. One was the witness of other true Christians who related experiences like the ones I was having. One is history which supports the stories in the Bible and demonstrates how God blesses His people. The fourth is current events in my life and the nightly news. Snapshots in my life included the way songs I heard on the radio seemed to testify of Christ. This was unusual since I only listened to rock and roll stations. Olive was a continuous witness using the Bible to answer my questions as they came up. Reflecting about history, I began to see the role Christianity has played over the years. It seems that as Christianity is freely practiced in an area of the world, that area prospers. I think this is more than the result of conservative living; it is that God has blessed these nations. As for current events, Israel is always in the news and it is easy to see how that nation’s constant affliction could be God’s chastisement for rejecting their Savior. This is not a politically correct perspective, but it provides food for thought.

I had other more personal evidence. I had many epiphanies that year, complete with whole body rushes. I heard a voice in my mind that I believe was the Lord, telling me he loved me. After a year of this, I was ready to look past the dragons guarding the treasure. In the parable of the sower the tares (I called them the Christianeze) and the wheat (Christians) grow up together and only the angels can separate them. I think of the Christianeze as the dragons.


Then I read in the Book of Revelation how there was a blessing for anyone who heard the words of this book. I wanted that blessing. I thought of how Jacob wrestled with the Angel and would not let Him go before he was blessed. I read Revelation over and over again, determined to read it until God blessed me. After the seventh time, I got my blessing.


Hear ye therefore the parable of the sower. - Mat 13:18