My Life on Earth

The Lord Directs My Path

2011-02-13T21:12:00.000-08:00

The program "Nightline" had a special presentation on television, DC: A City Divided. The topic of the program was racism in the US Capitol and the focus was on education. William Bennett, the Secretary of Education at the time, spoke -along with others. I found the speakers uninspiring, but after the main program finished, the filmmakers started interviewing people in DC. I found myself moved by how trapped the children were because of the rejection they faced in the larger society of the city. They were also trapped by failing schools.

I knew a lot about the problem with K12 education by this time. School was a nasty experience for my younger daughter who is dyslexic. In addition I was making my living using an Apple II+ and the school down the street had MAC computers, but they had no idea what to do with them. I thought that computers could make it possible for teachers to share resources (this was the late 80s). I had some experience programming computers. I thought there might be a way I could help solve this problem if I could go back to school and learn how to get computers to communicate with each other.

Before making a decision, I went to the elders at my church for their counsel. One was concerned that I was going to be taking time away from my children if I went to school full time. (The children were 10 and 12 at the time.) My parents were living next door, so I knew the children wouldn't be alone. Still I knew that taking time away from them was a big decision and that I should ask the Lord.

I prayed for a week. The weekend was my birthday. I was used to the Lord getting me gifts on my birthday (see my earlier post on this). I wondered what I would get for this birthday.

On Saturday, my birthday, I went out to the mailbox to find a “Special Issue” of Newsweek. Newsweek usually arrived midweek and special issues are rare. The cover proclaimed “The Future of Education.” The entire issue was devoted to the types of things schools need in order for students to be successful. Some might think it was a giant coincidence that this issue arrived on that particular birthday. I took this as a sign that the Lord wanted me to pursue the knowledge I needed in order to help teachers get the resources and tools they need to do their job.

For thou [art] my lamp, O LORD: and the LORD will lighten my darkness. -2Sa 22:29 (KJV from the Blue Letter Bible)

Harry the Angel

2011-01-22T11:59:00.000-08:00

Building an addition to transform my house into a duplex was more of a trial than I had predicted. My parents and I and my daughters were living in the original, small house. There were too many bosses under one roof, living on top of each other. Winter was coming and I knew things would get worse. I prayed for the Lord to solve the problem.

The shell and framing of the addition were complete. I wanted to move my family in over there, but I knew I would have to insulate it first. I only had $600 cash left in my budget. This was 1990 and I knew the money wouldn't go far. I also had a charge account with the building supply store. I figured I could charge the insulation. I could put up the insulation in the walls, but not the ceiling. The ceiling needed to be drywalled before I could insulate the roof. I realized I could not put up the ceiling drywall myself. I could charge the drywall at the building supply store and then see if I could hire a drywall man to put up the ceiling for $600.

I called the building supply store and asked the lady who answered the phone how heavy drywall was. I figured I could bring the drywall home on top of my station wagon. I would have to get it upstairs though and I knew that would be a problem if it was too heavy for me to lift. The lady at the drywall store asked what I was doing and I told her. (I guess most folks don't ask how heavy drywall is.) She told me her husband did drywall work, so I asked her to send him over to bid on doing the ceiling.

Harry, the husband of the lady at the building supply store, came over, and looked at the house. He said he would drywall the whole house for $200. I told him that was ridiculously low, but he said he needed something to do.

Harry told me a strange story as he worked. He said that he had been listed as killed in action in Vietnam.

Harry put up all the drywall in the house, then asked if I wanted the flooring put down. The flooring included laying a hardwood floor in the living room and tile in the kitchen and bathrooms. Harry offered to put it all down for $250. He did a terrific job. He even added tiling the bathtub area and building a vanity top out of tile for no extra money.

Then Harry said he would build my deck for $50. Next Harry offered to put in the baseboard in the house for $50. Instead of buying trim, he routed the wood himself and stained it. Finally he offered to paint and texture the entire interior of the house for $50. That used up the last of the $600. He painted the house and I never saw him again.

I never told Harry that I had just $600. I marveled that he came and bit by bit finished the addition and charged exactly $600. Wherever he is, I know God is blessing him. I call him my angel Harry.

I thanked the Lord and moved my family into the addition before winter. This was quite a testimony to my unsaved parents. By this time living with my family, my father said my life was "uncanny." Fortunately he came to know why. That will be in a later post.

Once again the reminder:
But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Phl 4:19

The Master Builder

2011-01-13T22:03:00.001-08:00

When my parents retired I wanted them to come to Colorado to be by me and my daughters.

My parents had just suffered a financial setback. They had invested all there retirement money in a house in a small town. Just before they retired five factories closed in the town. Real estate values plummeted and my parents ended up with very little money for their retirement.

I owned a small house on a large lot. The lot was zoned for a duplex so I set about seeing if I could add on to my house. I wanted to build an addition that had an office for me and bedrooms for me and my two girls. My parents could live in the original half of the duplex.

I didn’t have much money, but figured I could come up with enough to put up the outside and insulate it by winter. I had a plan created and with my father, began to interview builders. The builder recommended by a family member came over, inspected the plan, and told us it would cost much more money than I had. My father gave up hope, and suggested we downsize the plans by half. We were talking in the kitchen with the plans spread on the table. I prayed for the Lord’s help. Then there was a knock at the door. I answered it and there was a builder there who was a relative of a friend. He told me that he remembered that I knew accounting and he had an accounting question. I answered his question and told him I had a question for him too. I brought him into the kitchen and showed him the plans. He said he thought I could certainly build the addition with the budget I had. My father was convinced and we moved on with the plans.

I know the Lord answered my prayers that day with His generous and gracious Spirit. He prepared a place for me in this life and is preparing a place in the next life.

For he looked for a city which hath foundations, whose builder and maker is God. Hbr 11:10

Matriculation

2010-04-04T21:28:00.000-07:00

I read in a commentary that graduation for the Christian comes when he or she no longer fears death.

One night I had a strange dream. I was walking up the isle of an outdoor stadium. There was no one around but a women with a hood who was running towards me. When she got to me, she stabbed me with a knife. Instead of waking up, I thought, “I knew something special was going to happen today!” I remembered the dream the next morning. I realized that I had slept though my own death and that I felt no fear. I had matriculated.

…that through death he might destroy him that had the power of death, that is, the devil; And deliver them who through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage. -Hbr 2:15

Be Anxious for Nothing

2010-02-06T20:52:00.000-08:00

In 1980 I started a small public accounting business. At this time I had a toddler and a baby on the way, so I wanted a job where I could work from home. In 1980 I took out a small business loan and bought an Apple II+ and accounting software. I had learned accounting by writing accounting programs at work. I would use the computer and the software to help small businesses with their bookkeeping.

After I was divorced the Lord was faithful to use this business to keep me afloat financially for 20 years, until my children were grown. I don’t know for sure, but I think is rare to find a single mom that doesn’t have to work outside of the home. I have never met another.

I only worked about 80 hours a month and I didn’t earn much, but the Lord always saw to it that I had enough. Truly my shoes didn’t wear out in the desert. Also my car never broke down, and I was never late with my bills. I never had extra, but I don’t believe the Lord wants me to have extra. Even today, if I find I have extra money, I know a bill is coming. Just last month, three times people offered me money. Sure enough I had a big repair bill. The Lord took care of it.

One thing that was difficult as a single mother with two young children is that there was no one to remember my birthday; no one, that is, except the Lord. In those years I never celebrated a birthday without a gift. They came from unexpected places. One I remember clearly is receiving a new pair of shoes as a gift from someone in the church who had no idea it was my birthday. I needed a nice pair for work and the Lord remembered. Some years the gifts were simpler. The kids made me gifts without even realizing it was my birthday. Then there was the special issue of Newsweek, but I will talk about that later.

What I learned was not to trust money. I was the only accountant I knew that didn’t believe in money. In my experience, money comes from the Lord and goes as the Lord intends it. I am just a steward. I don’t have to worry about the future or about a rainy day. The Lord will take care of rainy days and my future.

Now that I am older, I have plenty on my balance sheet; but I know this can change tomorrow. If I lose it all, I pray that it wouldn’t ruin my day. Through decades I have learned that the Lord is my provision. My true treasures are beyond the reach of this world’s economic system.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. -Phl 4:6

White Room

2009-10-18T21:37:00.000-07:00

I was saved in 1978, my husband was not. With salvation came a knowledge of my sins and I could see the damage I had done to my marriage. I set about being the best wife I could. Two years later my husband told me he didn’t know if he still wanted to be married to me. He said that I would always want him to become a Christian and he did not want God to control his life. He said he had one life and he wanted to be in charge of it himself. He felt I would always want him to change. Two years after that (four years after I was saved) he divorced me.

The first few years after my divorce were difficult. That is when I discovered what I call “the White Room.” When I felt really down I pictured myself curled up in a small white room. A strange thing happened in that place. As I sat still and waited, God spoke to my heart. At first it was just in words, but then He began to write on the walls – in color. Then the walls became more and more vibrant. Eventually I realized that the inside of this room was bigger than the world outside. So whenever I felt down, I knew where I could go. I could count on God to meet me in the White Room.

… we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us. -Rom 5: 3-5

Fellowship

2009-05-03T21:22:00.000-07:00

Finding a church was difficult. I visited several in the two years after the Lord saved me. One I had dismissed early, but later returned to. The church met after the manner that I was looking for. It had an open worship meeting where the men were invited to share and everyone could suggest hymns. The church had elders and deacons, but no one designated as pastor. (The problem with the first meeting was that I heard women gossiping and figured I wouldn't fit in. After visiting several other churches, I realized that this was still the best church for me and I could avoid the gossips.)

I was reminded of the old saying. It would not be possible to find the perfect church if it had me in it. In the end, I wanted a place where I could minister to the saints in my own way. This Bible Chapel was the one.

Having been newly divorced I was feeling lonely. I prayed to find friends and the next time I went to church I overheard some women talking about needing a place for a Bible study. I had a house with a big living room, so I offered it. This answer to prayer was the beginning of a fellowship of single women that has continued for over 25 years. I think of this as my ‘air and water’ group. They are all very precious to me and I wish I could spend more time with them.

And this is his commandment, That we should believe on the name of his Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, as he gave us commandment. – 1 Jo 3:23

Giving up smoking

2009-04-12T14:40:00.000-07:00

I needed to quit smoking. I had tried a few times, without success. This time I had a new baby and she coughed at my smoke. I asked God to help me. Within a week I had a cough that was so bad I couldn’t walk up a flight of stairs. I couldn’t smoke even if I wanted to. After a week of going without a cigarette, I realized I could go another week. I never smoked cigarettes again. The Lord delivered me from an expensive, unhealthy, smelly habit.

Being an old hippy, I had been smoking marijuana for over ten years. I couldn’t imagine ever giving that up. But, after becoming a Christian, getting ‘high’ became a different experience too. I was not going to give it up just because I was a Christian. That seemed a bit legalistic – to give it up in my own strength. I prayed and the Lord changed me from the heart. Instead of enjoying it, I felt like it got in my way. I wanted to think clearly. It felt like being mentally impaired. Being ‘high’ was actually a lower state of mind once I became a new creation in Christ. I didn’t have to give up smoking pot. I just didn’t have a desire to do that anymore.

… put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts and be renewed in the spirit of your mind; and that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness. Eph 4:21-24

Truth from the Prophet Haggai

2009-03-01T22:51:00.000-08:00

As a new Christian I wanted to meet with other Christians, so I joined Women's Bible Study Fellowship for a study on the minor prophets of the Old Testament.

The format of the meeting was to have a speaker first, then to meet as a group to answer questions based on Bible readings. During one of the meetings, the speaker said that all Christians should question whether they are really saved or not. I pondered over that and then prayed about it. I didn’t think about it again, but that night when I was doing the Bible study it came back to me. We were studying Habakkuk and I was having a problem.

I was working on the Bible study question about a verse in Habakkuk. I looked at the verse, but the question didn’t make sense. It didn’t seem to fit the verse. I looked up to see that I was reading the book of Haggai, not Habakkuk. They are close to each other in that section of the Old Testament. No wonder the question made no sense. So I turned to the book of Habakkuk and tried again. Still the verse and the question did not match. Then I realized I was reading Haggai again. A third time I turned to Habakkuk. It happened again. I thought this was strange and that perhaps the Lord had something to tell me in Haggai.

I looked down and read the verse below. It was the answer to my prayer:

I will make you like my signet ring, for I have chosen you, declares the Lord Almighty. - Haggai 2:23,

New Life

2009-02-08T21:21:00.001-08:00

So much changed in the first few months after my salvation. I felt like the world had changed, but I knew it was me. I realized I was a sojourner on Earth and that it wasn’t my home. My politics changed. I was a registered democrat, but I realized that the government was not likely to solve the world’s problems. No – I didn’t go so far as to register Republican, but man’s idealism wasn’t going to be translated into reality. That’s probably a good thing to remember in these hard economic times.

I forgave my father. The funny thing was that I didn’t know I held anything against him. But I thought about his life and realized how life had shaped his personality, including how he behaved toward his family. I cried for him and loved him deeply from that day on. He was saved on his deathbed, but I will get to that story later.

I saw my new body in a vision. It was great – a dancing fountain of light ranging from silver to dark blue. This might not be true – I am not sure where my visions came from back then, but it appeals to me. The occasional visions I had became a source of concern to me though. How did I know where they were coming from? The solution was simple. I prayed that the Lord would filter them so that only visions from Him would come through. This worked. From that point on the only vision I had, with few exceptions, were of crosses. I’ve seen hundreds of them over the years, but I’ve never seen the same one twice.

I drove past a bulletin board that proclaimed “I found it!” I knew there were others experiencing the same thing as me. I didn’t find a church though. I tried a few, but their teaching didn’t line up with what I was reading in the scriptures. I guess I was born-again contentious. I did find Women’s Bible Study Fellowship and learned more about the scriptures. It was nice to have women to study with. More on that next week.

Behold, all things become new – 2 Cr. 5:17

The First Ten Days

2009-02-01T21:32:00.000-08:00

The ten days after I was born again were amazing. I think of them like my honeymoon. I walked, lived, and breathed in alignment with God. It seemed I only had to think a thing and it was so. If I read a passage in the Bible that I did not understand, I would only have to turn on the radio to hear the answer. One time I prayed over a verse and the phone rang. It was Olive. She did not even say “hello.” She just explained the verse to me.

My niece came over for dinner and I shared my story with her. As I was preparing dinner I decided to serve some canned peas. I searched for a can and, remember how the Lord and I had been working together, jokingly I told my niece that I would pray that I could find the peas. There was not a can of peas in my pantry. Deflated I took a can of green beans and opened it. There were peas in the green bean can.
By the next day I was getting cocky. I prayed that if I was aligned with the will of God, I could use $100. When I went out to my mailbox, guess what was in there? Apparently I had overpaid the escrow on my house that year.

I saw my demon leave. I didn’t realize that I had one, but when I saw the demon’s face I knew it was mine. I would not be honest if I didn’t confess that we had a lot of fun together, but where I now live, my demon could not come. I haven’t missed it, praise the Lord.

By the tenth day I was beginning to realize that I might have trouble fitting in with everyone else on the planet if this kept up. The Lord stepped in – I popped a contact lens. By the time I found it I was back on Earth. But I was changed. I became a sojourner here.

The Lord still whispered in my ear that He loved me. I was safe.

Who is this that cometh up from the wilderness, leaning upon her beloved? – SgS 8:5

The Spirit Testifies

2009-01-18T20:57:00.000-08:00

I wish I remembered more about the year that passed from the time I prayed with Olive and asked God to show me if the Bible is true or not. I know it was an amazing year.

I started by making a pact with myself that I would verify everything I learned. By this I mean that I wanted to be sure I wasn’t talking myself into believing the Bible. I wanted evidence to substantiate what was happening in my life. I wish I could describe all of the events that occurred that year better, but this it the best I can do:

There are four witnesses that provided evidence for me. One was the way world lined up with my thoughts as the Spirit of God testified to my Spirit. One was the witness of other true Christians who related experiences like the ones I was having. One is history which supports the stories in the Bible and demonstrates how God blesses His people. The fourth is current events in my life and the nightly news. Snapshots in my life included the way songs I heard on the radio seemed to testify of Christ. This was unusual since I only listened to rock and roll stations. Olive was a continuous witness using the Bible to answer my questions as they came up. Reflecting about history, I began to see the role Christianity has played over the years. It seems that as Christianity is freely practiced in an area of the world, that area prospers. I think this is more than the result of conservative living; it is that God has blessed these nations. As for current events, Israel is always in the news and it is easy to see how that nation’s constant affliction could be God’s chastisement for rejecting their Savior. This is not a politically correct perspective, but it provides food for thought.

I had other more personal evidence. I had many epiphanies that year, complete with whole body rushes. I heard a voice in my mind that I believe was the Lord, telling me he loved me. After a year of this, I was ready to look past the dragons guarding the treasure. In the parable of the sower the tares (I called them the Christianeze) and the wheat (Christians) grow up together and only the angels can separate them. I think of the Christianeze as the dragons.

Then I read in the Book of Revelation how there was a blessing for anyone who heard the words of this book. I wanted that blessing. I thought of how Jacob wrestled with the Angel and would not let Him go before he was blessed. I read Revelation over and over again, determined to read it until God blessed me. After the seventh time, I got my blessing.

Hear ye therefore the parable of the sower. - Mat 13:18

The Hounds of Heaven

2008-12-16T19:59:00.000-08:00

Being a child of the 60s I was always trying to fund a path to enlightenment. For years I tried drugs to ‘expand my mind,’ but that ended up being a waste of a decade or so. When I got high I’d either end up with hitting a ‘wall of fear’ or I’d run into the pit of despair. The wall of fear was strange because there was nothing I was afraid of. The fear was real right down to the goose bumps, but I could never find the cause. The despair was also strange. It had nothing to do with me. I felt like I could feel the despair of the world. It was like I was tuning in to people’s suffering all over the planet.

With all that effort I got no closer to God. I tried a few religions. Christianity was not one of them. It seemed to me that Christianity was about hypocrisy and narrow-mindedness. The Christians I had met seemed to be out to convert me in order to get more notches on their belts. I figured if Heaven was where the Christians are, I’d go somewhere else.

I tried new age religions like Eckankar, but I really didn’t expect my soul to leave my body and fly about the planet. Why would I want to do that, anyway? I looked into Scientology, but that seemed to be just more science fiction. I looked at Budhism, but the idea of everything becoming one in the end didn't sound attractive. I like being an individual. I checked out what the Hari Krishnas believed. They thought I should leave behind my relationships and obligations and come into their monastery. I like their food and their art, but that was about it.

Then I was laid off at work for a few months and working part time. With my free time, I started thinking about possibilities for the afterlife. I wondered if a person, like the writer of a book, might not be able to create their own eternity. The more I thought about this, the more I realized how little capacity I had to be creative enough if this was the case. Eternity is an awfully long time. If I had to rely on my own creative power, there would be nowhere near enough to fill this void. I’d last a week or two, and then lapse into eternal boredom. If I relied on the creative power of others, I would be subject to their whims. I realized that if I was left in eternity with only these choices, I was utterly and irrevocably lost.

I had walked around the perimeter of myself and saw myself lacking. An eternity alone is a thing to be feared.

At this same time I was getting to know my Christian landlady, Olive, better. My husband and I had rented a house from her one winter and she had done something very unexpected. My part time job was with a realtor and I heard the agents talking about what a shame it was that a couple was going to lose a deal on a house because they couldn’t come up with a down payment. I heard the realtor say the house was $10,000. That got my attention. I asked about the house and went to see it. My husband told me to buy it if I liked it and I did. We gave the first couple some money for their trouble and bought their contract from them.

The house needed a new roof badly and was starting to deteriorate. I told the Olive we would move out when we could come up with the money to fix the roof. To my surprise, she offered to lend me the money. Who would think a landlady would lend a tenant money to move out? We made an arrangement and I paid the Olive back at $100 a month over four months. This meant going to her house to pay her back. During these visits she would answer my questions and I learned about Christianity from the believer’s perspective rather than from the media or the Christianeze.

The people that walked in darkness have seen a great light: they that dwell in the land of the shadow of death, upon them hath the light shined. – Isa. 9:2

Born Again

2008-12-07T15:21:00.000-08:00

I always knew God loved me. I think most people do on some level. I didn’t think there was a way to find out about more about Him though. How could a person know which religion was right? Then I rented a house from a woman named Olive and she had answers to all my questions.

Our conversations started because I found myself feeling guilty whenever I was around her and I didn’t know why. I’d replay our conversations in my head, but there was nothing she said that would make me feel guilty.

So I was curious. I knew she was a Christian and approachable. I knew all the arguments against Christianity, so I started asking her questions based on what I believed. She answered all of my questions using the Bible. I was amazed that the Bible had these answers. Olive told me that the Bible said I was a sinner. I figured I wasn’t any worse than anyone else I knew, so I had a hard time believing that. I prayed with her, and in my prayer I asked God to show me whether or not the things the Bible said were true. I wanted to know.

A year went by and it was an amazing year. The Lord intervened over and over again in my life. I’ll write more on that later.

On New Years Eve, 1977, as I was reading a pamphlet on prophecy by Tim LaHaye, I found myself disagreeing with him and the way he was using the Scriptures. I was searching my Bible to verify what he wrote and suddenly, like a door opened, I recognized God’s voice in there.

Have you ever had a letter from someone you love? Then you know what I mean. You don’t have to see the signature on the letter, because you recognize the voice of the person through what they write. The God I knew since I was a child wrote the Bible, I recognized that. I recognized the Master’s voice in His Word.

It was New Years Eve, 1977, then it was New Years 1978. I didn’t notice when midnight came. But that night my whole world had become new.

And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new. And he said unto me, Write: for these words are true and faithful. – Rev 21:5